When Your Avatar Fails To Express What You're Feeling

Night Morrisey has an eloquent and perceptive post about a moment when a Second Life relationship fell apart.  That's also when the person who owns and controls Night Morrisey comes to hate her own avatar.  Why?  Because while this brutal argument with another Resident led her to feel "the terror of losing, stretching out in the nightmarish slow-motion of shock... slack-jawed behind the keys, fingers almost too numb to type", Night went on looking like she always does-- gorgeous, groomed, and utterly unruffled.

"I needed Night to reach out and grab them by the arms, kiss them, shake them, scream at them, kiss them again," she writes. "Instead, she casually smoothed back her flowing amber hair, then tipped her head in the perfect touch to her sexy smirk, mindlessly following the programming of her animation override." 

Of course, Night Morrisey's owner could have launched another set of animations so her avatar could automatically scream, cry, and visibly express how she now felt at the keyboard.  Then again, grabbing and kissing this person she cares about would still be impossible without their permission.  So what Night Morrisey is really writing about, it seems to me, is the moment when us, our avatars, and the people controlling other avatars are no longer in sync.  And now that she brings it up, I think it's fair to say those are the times when social disruption in Second Life is at its worst.

Comments

[Marx Dudek]

One night, something happened in SL that made me unbearably sad. I was wandering around, in a daze, feeling a bit hopeless and helpless. I IMed a few friends of mine in a desperate attempt to find a skin that I could wear that would help express (on my face, at least) the sadness that had overtaken me that night.

One of my friends completely understood, and directed me to a store that sold a skin with running mascara. I switched off my smiler, found some eyes that better suited the skin and my mood, and hid in a place that felt safe.

It meant a lot to be able to do that.

[Rezworthy Chiddles III]

So she found out that SL isn't "real".

Boy, that must have been shattering.

[Gahum Riptide]

"So she found out that SL isn't "real"."

Ah, and I suppose you're one of those who think online friendships are fake, right?

[dandellion Kimban]

Rezworthy, learning the limitation of the medium is not the same as stating that the medium "is not real". Do a bit more thinking about it.