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Thursday, May 09, 2013

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Damien Fate

I was there on and off all weekend, and tbh I didn't pay much attention to the side chat (I rarely do on popular streams because they're just full of people screaming at the streamers for attention)

I am sad to see you were treated that way, but also sad to say that I am not in the least bit surprised. It sucks, really, and I don't know if it will ever change... but don't stop doing what you enjoy!

Also, for what it's worth I more than criticised your attempts at wooing Sailor Jupiter, just saying :P

Kim Anubis

Iris, thank you for speaking out about this.

Ravishal

I've watched a few times and I find your streams informative. In my eyes your a great source of knowledge on virtual worlds and gaming in general. Keep up the good work :) .

Arcadia Codesmith

It's not as bad as it was in days of yore, but it's still like constant background noise. You find yourself questioning why you snap over something that, in isolation, doesn't seem to be that bad, but it's not the individual remark, it's the cumulative weight of hundreds or thousands of "not so bad" little remarks.

A pebble is no big deal, unless it's part of an avalanche.

Savoree LeDesir

I really like the way you have addressed this issue, Iris, and I think you've spoken for a lot of us here. I also think you've taught me something important today. I've never been hesitant to call out "bullying" where I've seen or experienced it. However, I've usually avoided describing the incidents that bothered me, or how they made me feel, because I didn't want to validate the behavior or give the bullies more attention than they deserved.

The feedback I have received by handling these situations this way is that I have been told, as you also mentioned, to either "grow a thicker skin," or go somewhere else and leave the bulies alone. (?!)

There are two problems with that. First, my skin is thick enough, and I can, have, and will handle the bullies and take care of myself. I'm not *afraid* of them; I just don't *enjoy* spending what little free time I have dealing with them. Second, I'm not going away. I'm have just as much of a right to be online as anyone else.

After reading this post, I've decided that I will be much more direct, assertive, and specific when I am describing and reporting this type of behavior in the future. You've demonstrated how this can be done with respect, class, and dignity. Thank you.

Cat Boccaccio

Thanks for this post, Iris, I understand it is difficult to articulate and you did it well. There will always be sad little trolls on the Internet but that doesn't mean we have to like it or accept it. You always hear "don't feed the trolls" by responding to them, so I'm not sure how to be more assertive when something happens online.
As Arcadia said, it is not one humiliating remark that is so deeply discouraging, but a kind of "death by a thousand cuts".

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