Sojourner's End: Mourning A Beloved Community Leader

Direct SLURL teleport to The Sojourner's Memorial at this link

When it came time to describe Second Life's leading figures for the official guide, I wrote this about the Resident named The Sojourner:

A one-woman demonstration of the power of Second life as a social tool, Ms. Sojourner has been a tireless volunteer and organizer in SL for nearly two years as a founder of Shockproof, a support group for stroke survivors, and as an event planner and organizer on the Dreams sim, home to endless building contests and holiday fairs to benefit a good cause.

That was in 2006.  And yesterday, the woman behind Soj (as her many friends called her), died of cardiac arrest.  A multiple stroke survivor, she devoted the last four years of her life building Dreams into a thriving support community. And as members learned the news of her passing, they streamed into Dreams, lighting candles, creating memorial sculptures and signs.  ("Some of the Dreams group had become quite close to Soj," someone explained to me, when I arrived. "They received phone calls early in the day.") When I visited the impromptu memorial site a few hours ago, some were already there, silently gathered; some only learned the news as they arrived; some hadn't even known her, but knew Residents she'd touched, and came anyway.

"[T]his sim has been full of people all day," SamBivalent Spork tells me. "It's been wonderful to see all the people here.  Everyone had an inspiring story to tell."  That would include SamBivalent himself.

His giant ant avatar is a testimony to his metaverse creative powers, and as it happens, Sojourner was his original guide.  "I discovered Dreams in my first week in SL," he tells me, a ring of blue ring glowing as he types. "I kind of never left... The groups Soj runs inspired me to do a lot of volunteer work here in SL." 

"She gave us a scare last year when she went into the hospital," he continues, "but she came out all the stronger she never complained or really even mentioned her health though we all knew she had problems, she just never brought them up."

There are plans to continue her work in Dreams.  Across the SL blogosphere, there are tributes by Gwyneth, Tateru, and Arthur Fermi, who first posted the news.  Near the memorial site is a donation jar-- funds will go toward purchasing real life flowers for her funeral.

Comments

[Tom Boellstorff]

I'm still in too much shock to say much. Soj was one of the most amazing people in Second Life that I've ever had the privilege to know. I first met her in November 2004 and it was a joy to watch her make her dream come true, a dream that basically involved making the lives of others better.

Soj was an extraordinarily generous, thoughtful, and kind person. Her family in friends - in the actual world and in Second Life too - are in my thoughts.

She will be terribly missed.

[Amalthea Blanc]

Thanks for covering this, Hamlet. Soj's departure is a huge loss for everyone whose life she touched....

-Thea

[Dorie Bernstein]

Soj was friend and mentor. A delightful sense of humor, even with instigating pranks. Sure, she never placed a prim during the kitchen prank. But she was liberal with suggestions! Dreams will continue and continue her vision. Just not sure what it will be like yet not having her around. It's hard to fathom right now.

Thank you for covering this, Hamlet!!!

[Rhiannon Chatnoir]

She was truly an amazing woman that we will all miss. Thanks Hamlet :)

[Stella Costello]

What a loss for the community. Soj was a leader, a dreamer, and a doer. It was those three qualities that made her one of the most inspiring people in Second Life.

[Anya Daligdig]

I interviewed The Sojourner for an article on her sim "Dreams" that appeared in the Sim of the Week column in the M2 about a year ago. I'd never met her before, but she made you comfortable immediately. She was a completely genuine person with a warm and giving personality.

She was also a marvelous interviewee -- she'd obviously told the story she told me -- of what brought her to create the groups of people with autism/Asperger's Syndrome, and stroke survivors, of the benefits they found in Second Life -- many times before, but it came alive in her retelling. She told me too about the many others, drawn by her visions, who volunteered to keep Dreams alive.

She was one of the most vital people I knew. I can't believe that vitality has left us.

Anya Daligdig

[SeanMcPherson Senior]

You'll be missed, Soj. You brought a lot of wonderful things to life in SL (and RL, by extension) and they'll keep going and growig, thanks to you. We'll all keep you in our hearts and minds as we help in our own smaller ways. Thanks, as always!

[Daniel Sidewand]

I came upon this site simply by searching for Karen's (sojourn's) Obituary. I wanted it simply to complete the 37 years of letters and communications we enjoyed over the years. She may be Sojourn to you, but she will always be Karen to me. Come to think of it, I remember her relating a poem called "The Sojourner" back inthe 1970's; it may even have been something she wrote. Karen (sorry, "Sojourner") was my first girl friend, and although we went through times of tension over 37 years, and although things did not work out in the romantic way I might have wished, we remained close . I am pretty much of a jerk, so it is truly a testament to Soj's spirit that we were able to stay ready to be there for each other (and we mostly were ) for almost four decades.
As I keep coming across old letters and memorabilia from Karen, I am constantly reminded of her nurturing kindness, and that despite my boneheadednesss, she would remain my friend. Karen was my first girl friend, and the one against whom all others would be measured. No one ever came close. My heart and prayers go out to Don and Andrew, as well as her mom and dad and brothers and sisters, even after all these months. Some losses you just cannot ever stop crying about. Karen, "Sojourner", or Soj, I miss you and regret that I ever may have hurt you. You influenced me throughout my adult life,and you loved me, although not in the way I would have wished, I know that you loved me. And that is enough. Love Always, Dan

[fahad mahfouz]

sorry to write late,but all i can say is:
i never saw abeter person in my SL,so kind and always helping me so fast,beside dori,many here are great freinds of mine forever,i might be inactive but dream is my dream forever.
:)

[Vulcan Viper]

I regret never having had the opportunity to meet The Sojourner. If the expressions of support to her family and friends are anything to go by, she must have been a wonderful person.

The Sojourner has died. May what she has begun never die.

I wanted nothing more than to visit The Sojourner's Memorial. Unfortunately, although the SLURL is still showing, the memorial is not there.