« Lanna's List For May 22-28: CARP Perfoms Pink Floyd's "The Wall", HL2 Machinima Premiere, Israeli Reggae/Dub/Hip Hop Band Plays Live, and more... | Main | Remembering Ruth, The Avatar Identity Tease »

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Laetizia Coronet

You know, it might be a sick thing to do, a pathetic thing to do, whatever--

No it's not. It's the sweetest thing I have seen anyone ever do with the technology that is Second Life. And I am happy to read that it helps you during those hard moments, two years on, when the rest of the world expects you to be 'over it'.

Douglas Story

Eshi is a soulful character, and we're lucky to have her in this world with us.

Storm Thunders

I've got a box in my inventory labeled Do Not Open. Can't bring myself to delete what's inside it.

Grieving happens in its own time. Eshi, don't let anyone push you to rush it. Only you know when you're done.

Stone Semyorka

Everyone deals with grief in their own way. A year ago, when a dear friend retreated forever to RL, I chose to write a eulogy in my blog.

http://secondedition.wordpress.com/2007/07/31/one-of-my-luckiest-days/

Princess Ivory

I know it's not quite the same, because my husband is still very much alive, but there are times during the day that I need him to deal with something in-world, and he cannot because he is at work. So I log into SL with his account and take care of whatever needs doing that I need his avatar to do. (Sometimes I make him give me all of his money!)

It is a very strange feeling, being Alphonsus. I look at the screen and I see him instead of me, even though I am the one using the mouse and the arrows to move him around. It doesn't feel like ME, it feels like HIM. I am making him move, but he is still separate from me. And it can be comforting to see him, because I am lonely during the day and I miss him.

It does become confusing however, when someone IMs him. I feel compelled to confess my identity behind the keyboard - to let them know that I am not him, even though it is him that they see.

Enshi, I am so sorry for your loss. And I do indeed understand the comfort derived from accessing an avatar that represents your husband. I would be doing the same thing, in your place.

Princess Ivory

kanomi

Poignant and beautifully presented.

Eladrienne

Anyone who has ever met Eshi knows how special she is and reading this brought tears to my eyes as well as a smile at the thought of her celebrating his spirit by doing the beautiful things here inworld. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

Seraphine


I understand.
It brings him closer to you.
It's love. It's grief. It's love.
/me hugs Eshi.

This is a beautifully written article, by the way. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Ora Pera

It's inspiring story about two unique people and one of them still carries on their spirit, their ideas and their values in very creative and innovative way. Thank you Eshi for sharing and keep on creating/fighting/working. Hugs Ora

Darkfoxx

Nothing in Second Life in my time since '05 has moved me, untill I read this.

Wonderful, is what I want to say, but it seems a strange word to use... I dont know what to say, except that I'm moved.

Thank you.

Ignatius Onomatopoeia

The next time students deride SL, claiming it lacks the emotional engagement of RL, I will show this to them.

Thank you for sharing what must be a difficult story for Eshi to tell.

Extropia DaSilva

The pattern we each call 'I' is commonly thought to reside in one specific body, respectively. But personal identity is more complex than that.

The pattern known as 'I' is copied imperfectly by the brain's ability to perform higher-order intentionality and theories of mind. The more time you spend with a person, the better you get at modelling that person inside your mind. Their 'I' becomes part of your society of mind, just as yours becomes incorporated into theirs.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said, 'a solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. You are a human being precisely because of relationships; you are a relational being or you are nothing'.

I believe it is fundamentally WRONG to consider the pattern we call 'I' as being generated- can ONLY be generated- by a specific individual. It is not. 'I' exists as multiple copies spread across our social networks, passing information back and forth across that network. Without our loved ones, there can be no 'I'. It is obvious, if you think about it.

Therefore, when each of us dies, we are not gone. Our 'I' pattern remains in the social network we left behind, fading in time as our loved ones each meet their own end.

The brain of Eshi's husband stored and processed the highest resolution pattern of his 'I', make not mistake about that. Eshi has a lower resolution pattern but it is THERE in her brain, nevertheless.

It will be a long time yet before her husband is absolutely 'gone', and certainly not while her brain is running its lower-resolution model of his 'I'.

Um..however, I do not intend my words to belittle her loss. I am not very good at finding words that express appropriate understanding of grief. I just wanted Eshi to know that her idea of maintaining a memory of her husband in SL is NOT creepy or strange. It is sweet and quite in keeping with what I think is a propper understanding of how that mysterious pattern 'I' is created and maintained.

Faerie

/me hugs Eshi.

rikomatic

There are no easy responses to this. We all deal with loss in our own ways, in our own time.

I do have to wonder what it will be like in the next few years when we can re-create AI representations of our loved ones that might be able to walk around the living room in holographic form, respond to questions and converse in their own voice, etc.

What of the will of the person who is dying, who might not want to be "rezzed" in this way? Now THAT is a double-entendre.

Philosophizing aside, I as well send a /hug Eshi's way.

Harper Beresford

Eshi is very dear to me as she is to many people. We are amazed by the lifeforce in her as well as her powerful creativity and beautiful young womanhood. (And I say "young" because, despite all she has been through, she still maintains the "joie de vivre" of being young: brashness, boldness, and strength.)

When I saw her movie about Glenn, I cried. Her grief was apparent. But it also showed her resiliency as she sent her dear beloved husband on a flight through her world in SL and showed him where she is and where she is going.

It is a great gift she has shared with us, a slice of her mind and her heart.

Sa Charlan

Its by far the most emotional thing I have read that connects sl to rl or vice versa. Its the only way to be - completely in love. Eshi is a strong woman cos she can speak abt it and not bottle it up like most of us do believing if we r quiet its ok, when it actually is not. Ty eshi reading ur story gave me answers hope and whole lot of understanding to asses my personal life.
Hugzz to a special person like u!

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

Making a Metaverse That Matters Wagner James Au ad
Please buy my book!
Thumb Wagner James Au Metaverse book
Wagner James "Hamlet" Au
Wagner James Au Patreon
Virtual_worlds_museum_NWN
Second Life virtual world coffee table book
Coffee table book coming soon. Follow Haridsam.Resident on Primfeed for updates!
Dutchie SL furnishings
Bad-Unicorn SL builds holdables HUD
Juicybomb_EEP ad
IMG_2468
My book on Goodreads!
Wagner James Au AAE Speakers Metaverse
Request me as a speaker!
Making of Second Life 20th anniversary Wagner James Au Thumb
PC for SL
Recommended PC for SL
Macbook Second Life
Recommended Mac for SL

Classic New World Notes stories:

Woman With Parkinson's Reports Significant Physical Recovery After Using Second Life - Academics Researching (2013)

We're Not Ready For An Era Where People Prefer Virtual Experiences To Real Ones -- But That Era Seems To Be Here (2012)

Sander's Villa: The Man Who Gave His Father A Second Life (2011)

What Rebecca Learned By Being A Second Life Man (2010)

Charles Bristol's Metaverse Blues: 87 Year Old Bluesman Becomes Avatar-Based Musician In Second Life (2009)

Linden Limit Libertarianism: Metaverse community management illustrates the problems with laissez faire governance (2008)

The Husband That Eshi Made: Metaverse artist, grieving for her dead husband, recreates him as an avatar (2008)

Labor Union Protesters Converge On IBM's Metaverse Campus: Leaders Claim Success, 1850 Total Attendees (Including Giant Banana & Talking Triangle) (2007)

All About My Avatar: The story behind amazing strange avatars (2007)

Fighting the Front: When fascists open an HQ in Second Life, chaos and exploding pigs ensue (2007)

Copying a Controversy: Copyright concerns come to the Metaverse via... the CopyBot! (2006)

The Penguin & the Zookeeper: Just another unlikely friendship formed in The Metaverse (2006)

"—And He Rezzed a Crooked House—": Mathematician makes a tesseract in the Metaverse — watch the videos! (2006)

Guarding Darfur: Virtual super heroes rally to protect a real world activist site (2006)

The Skin You're In: How virtual world avatar options expose real world racism (2006)

Making Love: When virtual sex gets real (2005)

Watching the Detectives: How to honeytrap a cheater in the Metaverse (2005)

The Freeform Identity of Eboni Khan: First-hand account of the Black user experience in virtual worlds (2005)

Man on Man and Woman on Woman: Just another gender-bending avatar love story, with a twist (2005)

The Nine Souls of Wilde Cunningham: A collective of severely disabled people share the same avatar (2004)

Falling for Eddie: Two shy artists divided by an ocean literally create a new life for each other (2004)

War of the Jessie Wall: Battle over virtual borders -- and real war in Iraq (2003)

Home for the Homeless: Creating a virtual mansion despite the most challenging circumstances (2003)

Newstex_Author_Badge-Color 240px
JuicyBomb_NWN5 SL blog
Ava Delaney SL Blog
my site ... ... ...
Virtual_worlds_museum_NWN