The Perils and Pleasures of Kissing Avatars

I've been thinking a fair amount about what it's like to kiss an avatar, because last weekend, I kissed maybe a dozen. That was for a Relay for Life fundraiser kissing booth, and while it may seem strange, it's often a difficult or complex thing. Avatars had the option of choosing several kinds of kisses; some preferred the intense, swooping kiss (as did Haver Cole, above), others a much more modest, Norman Rockwell variety (as did the blue butterfly-winged Patchouli Woolhara.) And while this was all just a matter of pixels on a screen, there was definitely some tension in the process. One person I kissed insisted on choosing the most modest one; another said they would like to donate to the booth's kiosk, but they'd rather not kiss me. Others came plunging forward demanding the most hottest variety, and I was happy to comply. That's when things got keen:

From my side of the screen, I was surprised by my reaction: I actually felt awkward and a bit self-conscious standing there, acting like a carnival barker for my avatar's lips; and when a gorgeous female avatar ponied up and mounted the kissing poseball, I cannot lie, felt a genuine electric buzz. A less intense array of emotions than if it happened in the real world, to be sure, but still on the same spectrum. (By contrast, kissing a three-headed alien was fun, but probably because it was so surreal, none of these similar feelings obtained.)

All this will come as no surprise to people who've already enjoyed avatar-based romance, of course, but even years after writing about Second Life and the virtualization of social intercourse, I'm still able to be surprised at how intense the experience can be first-hand. A landmark Stanford study found that our unwritten rules of personal space and eye contact carried over into Second Life. I doubt many reputable institutions would fund a study on avatar sex. But what would such researchers find, I wonder, if they put metrics around the kissing of avatars?

Comments

[Nalates Urriah]

There are certainly a lot of AV's trying to have sex. So, there must be something going on.

[caLLie cLine]

wow i thought it was only me who felt something when we kissed *winks*

[Jazz]

There most certainly IS research being carried out on avatar sex by reputable institutions :) Very interesting stuff.....the whole psychosomatics of it all.....

[Dawny Daviau]

I loved to give money for Realy for Life!

[Hamlet Au]

@Jazz: Which studies are you referring to? Would love to follow up.

@Callie: !!!

[ArminasX]

I think Callie felt something when she kissed me, too. Check out the picture at the bottom of this post.

[Mitch Wagner]

I felt weird about the whole thing myself, pretty similar to the ways you describe. Not sure if I'll do it again.

[Alicia Chenaux]

LOL! Now I'm really regretting not waking up in time to come smooch on you for charity.

[Viorel Daviau]

Smooching. Good stuff...good stuff.

[Nova Dyszel]

It is one of the most amazing mysteries of sl to me, how much I feel what I experience with this combination of the real time exchange of words and a shared jointly controlled virtual visual world, inhabited by me/ my avatar. I can't really explain it to friends who have not experienced sl and I think, James, that there are things that you and others who have not shared intimacy through this medium, can't quite imagine.

The more time and energy and emotion I invest in that image of me through which I walk and interact with the world inside sl, the more I feel back through my screen everything that happens to my avatar (me). I can feel a violent attack. I can feel a kiss. I feel shy about getting naked, and I feel the exhilaration of dancing. Of course I don't feel it in exactly the same way as those experiences with my physical body, but real and powerful nonetheless.

I recommend I, Avatar as an interesting book talking about the projected self as avatar relationship.

[Arcadia Codesmith]

Even in a virtual world:

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by

[Guest]

I had an odd situation happen to me where an acquaintance on FB who knows I am married kissed my Yoville avatar while I was not online. I discovered it had happened while cleaning up my notifications list (this app sends notifications whenever you interact with other FB users).

I have to admit, I felt very creeped out by it because that is something he did intentionally, knowing I was not online, and I don't know him well enough to consider that "funny". The hair on my neck stood up when I saw it. Very uncool...