Miss Ophelia's Metaverse Manners: How to Give Constructive Criticism, and Other Crummy SL Content Conundrums

Iris Ophelia's ongoing take on etiquette & ethics in virtual spaces

There can be a lot of politics attached to a sub-par virtual item. This week, I'll attempt to tackle three tricky situations that can arise from iffy metaverse content. 

When I give an honest review of something people call me a bitch. How can I give criticism without coming off that way?

In my opinion there are three keys to giving strong (and helpful) criticism. First of all, make sure that your point is something concrete -- don't just say "This dress sucks so hard". You need to be able to objectively explain why it sucks, and what could be done to make it suck less.

Second, make sure that those things are actually within the designers control. In one of my first fashion articles ever, I complained that a dress with a system skirt had a gap between the top of the skirt and the avatar. That was an intensely stupid comment to make; anyone who has ever worn more than one system skirt can tell you that that's just how they are. Make sure that it's not just a matter of taste, as well. If you hate micro-mini skirts and this designer loves them, maybe you should shop elsewhere.

Finally, sandwich your criticism between two compliments so that your statements will both begin and end on a positive note. They say it takes ten "atta boys" to negate just one "you suck" -- even if you have to force it, this is a good way to make sure that you're not just discouraging someone. Many amazingly talented designers had some pretty shaky starts, and I sure don't want to be the blogger that convinces the next big thing to quit before they've even really started.

Keep reading for more poor product problems!

Why is it MY or anyones job to inform people their stuff stinks? We don't go out of our way in RL to tell designers/stores their stuff stinks unless we want customer service. Is this because people think they are playing a game?

Completely the opposite. While we may not complain to a store if we don't like a design (we probably wouldn't buy it in the first place, much like SL), most people would complain if they received a defective product. A more accurate model for SL shops, however, would be to compare them to Etsy or Ebay. There is a level of intimacy in these smaller communities that most RL shopping at chain stores lacks. It's rarely worth giving feedback to sales staff because they are generally powerless, but if the designer themselves is the one at the front desk, it's much easier to be heard and affect a positive change in their products.

While RL defects are usually one-off accidents and flaws, in Second Life every copy of an item will have the same flaws. If a designer happened not to notice them during production, informing them can allow them to fix the error and send the updated version out to their customers. Bloggers have an additional responsibility in this area: Because most SL fashion reviews are essentially recommendations, bloggers have a responsibility not to mislead their readers about what they're recommending.

It's no ones job to tell a designer their stuff "stinks", but useful critique can help a designer refine their technique.

I'm the owner of a group similar to FashCon. How do I politely decline applicants who have low-quality products? It makes me feel so bad, but I'm sick of all the low quality crap advertised in other groups and want mine to be quality content only.

This can definitely be an awkward situation, and I don't envy the position you're in. Consider having a small admissions panel -- a group of fashionistas whose opinions you trust. When a questionable case comes before you, take it to them and do a vote, so it won't just be one person's opinion. If you all vote not to include them in the group, take note of your reasons for doing so. If you're going to reject someone, you should be able to tell them specifically why, and areas they can improve for future admission. It will probably still feel bad, but if you can provide them with some objective and unbiased feedback, hopefully it will be an interaction that you'll both benefit from.

Submit your virtual etiquette dilemmas to ophelia.iris [at] gmail [dot] com, or submit anonymously to the Metaverse Manners Formspring.  Be sure to include a pseudonym (i.e. "WTF from the Welcome Area") so you know when I'm addressing your query!

Iris Ophelia (Janine Hawkins IRL) has been featured in the New York Times and has spoken about SL-based design at the Fashion Institute of Technology in Manhattan and with pop culture/fashion maven Johanna Blakley.

Comments

[Sasy Scarborough]

Good points.

The last one had me pause though, with What's New SL all the rules and FAQ are there, I don't base acceptance as a designer on my opinion of quality nor anyone elses, as stated in your first question,

"I sure don't want to be the blogger that convinces the next big thing to quit before they've even really started."

While some may not agree with the rules of the group, and some applicants have to be declined for not following them, in my experience so far the rules of the group have left very few stores I wouldn't shop in myself...it gets to be an expensive process for me inspecting every applicant lol.

p.s I love my little system skirt shelf :P

xoxSasyxox

[Wondering]

I agree with Sasy because the new favorite shops pass pre-made sculpts amongst their friends freely. So how is that determining who is worthy and who is not??

[MIstletoe]

Here's a question: Why is it so damn difficult sometimes to say "no" to someone when their work has no redeeming qualities whatsoever?

And when you do tell them "no", do you owe it to them to answer when they ask what's wrong with it?