Iris Ophelia's ongoing take on etiquette & ethics in virtual spaces
If you thought breedable pets in SL would be a passing fad, you couldn't have been more wrong. It seems like every year something newer and more advanced is released-- what started as coloured turtles and chickens evolved into cooing creatures that find treasure and level up their owners. It's no surprise that the social issues surrounding these virtual companions have evolved a lot in that time, too.
My landlord threatened to evict me for having (virtual) pets on my land, but it's my land. Is he going too far or am I expecting too much?
- Put Out Pet Owner
Many private estates now include virtual pet clauses in their rental agreements, limiting the number of,or altogether banning, breedables or scripted pets. If you want pets, don't rent land in these places. Many sims don't have their policy explicitly stated, though, and even in these cases you are at the mercy of the sim owner. They can remove you and your pets at their leisure if they decide that they are affecting other tenants' experience on the sim negatively (from lag or otherwise). There's little recourse for an SL tenant who is booted off a private estate, fairly or unfairly, because "your" plot of land is still on your landlord's estate.
You're better off asking current or prospective landlords about their pet policies before you start rezzing your own little Kennel Club, and if you find out too late that your home and your hobby are incompatible, be proactive in finding a more suitable spot for you and your furry friends.
Keep reading for more petiquette tips!
A friend I know has a bit of a rough life and has really thrown herself into breedable SL pets lately. I'm worried she's spending more than she can afford on rare pets. I don't want to rain on her parade, but I'm worried.
- Anonymous
It's okay to worry, and to tell your friend you're worried. Bear in mind that shifts like this towards more dramatic or reckless spending are often triggered by a new specific stresser. It's her choice what she spends her money on of course, and it's important that you respect that, but tell her you're concerned as well and offer to help her as much as you can. If you make it clear that you're there for her, she may not need to lean on her pets as much.
My partner is way too attached to her SL pets. Last week she cried when her favourite KittyCat got too old to breed and I want to support her but I think she's just gotten weird about this. If she doesn't stop I might leave her, but I don't want to. How can I snap her out of it?
- Overbred and Overtired
You absolutely need to tell her how you feel, but don't be too aggressive or accusatory. Like the friend from the question above, she might be using her pets as an emotional crutch-- so suddenly kicking that crutch out from under her may do more harm than good. Ideally you can both find a happy compromise to limit how extreme (maybe even addicted) she is, without depriving her of something she sincerely enjoys. She could scale back her herd a bit, or maybe there's a breedable that you could interest yourself in and share!
Submit your virtual etiquette dilemmas to ophelia.iris [at] gmail [dot] com, or submit anonymously to the Metaverse Manners Formspring. Be sure to include a pseudonym (i.e. "WTF from the Welcome Area") so you know when I'm addressing your query!
Iris Ophelia (Janine Hawkins IRL) has been featured in the New York Times and has spoken about SL-based design at the Fashion Institute of Technology in Manhattan and with pop culture/fashion maven Johanna Blakley.
I don't have much to add to the pet thing, but Ophelia, your pictures are always amazing. Excellent work.
Posted by: Seymore Steamweaver | Wednesday, June 29, 2011 at 01:49 PM
As with anything in Second Life things that can be great in moderation can be a problem if they start to take over. Love and understanding are, as you have noted, always the best way through.
Posted by: Hitomi Tiponi | Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 01:30 AM
From my perspective, the bottom line is whether you would be equally concerned if a friend was spending the same amount of time and money on coin collecting, fine art, wine tasting, designer handbags, stamps, comics, golf, sports memorablia, volunteering, vintage cars, cigars, quilting, exotic travel, political activism, playing a musical instrument, or any other activity to which people commit time and money.
Unless the answer is an unqualified "yes", you're not reacting to your friend's "addiction" or "crutch", you're projecting your own discomfort with an activity that you don't enjoy or understand.
To paraphrase Freud, sometimes a hobby is just a hobby.
Posted by: Arcadia Codesmith | Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 07:54 AM