This Sunday at 11am SLT there is a memorial service in Second Life for Sig "Siggy Romulus" Hewett [click here to attend], a longtime and much-loved SLer who died last week. There is also a GoFundMe page for his children and his wife, Kasi “Nephilaine Protagonist” Hewett, a figure just as loved in both worlds.
Since the unexpected news of his death, the Second Life community has quickly rallied to pay tribute to him and to help his bereaved family. Their relationship began in and around Second Life.
“We first met on the old SL forums,” Nephilaine remembers. “He was a regular poster and, as we know, a personality you can not ignore. I thought he was funny, if a bit rough.”
In-world, you’d often see him flinging objects across Second Life sandboxes, or possibly flying around on a toilet.
“His avatar was a Djinn, short as he could make it, stocky, and intentionally just kind of hideous looking. I think it was his protest against the drive in SL towards perfection, towards standard beauty and the heavy element of vanity. He had zero use for that, his avatar was a warning to people: I don’t care how you look. I’m interested in what you DO.”
Their first real life meeting, at the 2007 Second Life community convention, was just as memorable:
“He was tall, that was the first thing I noticed,” Nephilaine recounts. “He towered over me by over a foot. And he had on a T-shirt that said ‘I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?’ So, you know. He did leave an impression.”
“[I] discovered what most people do --- that he was an utterly honest person and what you saw was what you got.”
They remained casual friends in the years that followed.
“When we started talking a bit more often, and the deep compatibility between us became obvious. Neither of us wanted to admit it, he was too shy (strange to think, I know) and I was too stubborn. But it eventually came out, and what came next was absolutely the best years of both our lives.”
Their first date was a Leonard Cohen concert in Vegas, where Siggy lived at the time. Nephiliaine flew to him from Georgia. “Anthem” was their favorite song from the show.
“ There was a very subtle lighting shift through the song -- the stage started very dark, but by the end it was blown out with this gorgeous golden light. Beautifully performed, beautifully staged, and we were both so moved by it.”
They spent several days together afterward. “By the end, we both knew the other was our true match. From the first minute, it was just so easy to be with him. He didn’t ask me to be anything but exactly who I am, and accepted my flaws as if they were as precious as my merits. it was profoundly relaxing to be with him.”
Siggy Romulus proposed to Nephilaine Protagonist at a lookout point at the highest elevation on the Blue Ridge parkway.
“It was a rainy, foggy, freezing winter morning,” she recalls. “He got on one knee, took his shirt off, and told me that even though this is all he had to offer me, he could swear he would love me forever.”
They created a family together, had children, led a pirate family in their local branch of the Society for Creative Anachronism. They eased into a household where both created virtual content, either as a side gig or (in Nephilaine’s case) a full-time job.
“For the most part, we kept our SL projects separate,” she says. “If he needed something textured, he would ask for my help. He learned to do 3d models when mesh went live to help me out when I needed something but my plate was already full. But it was always in the background, never really an advertised collaboration.
“We made a pact with each other early on: no drama, no games, just the truth. He liked to call our relationship style ‘Being alone, together’. Both of us are people who recharge with solitude, but the exception to the rule of solitude was always each other. Just having one another nearby was so relaxing and comfortable.
“He was my adult security blanket. I could talk to him about absolutely anything, and he never judged. Always assumed whatever was being expressed came from a true and good place, and that there was a solution to any problem. It made compromise easy. If I needed advice on anything, I knew I could go to him and he would give me a well thought out and empathetic response. And vice versa. He was very proud that we made such an effective team.”
In recent years he dropped out of Second Life to help her father run his blueberry farm, and work as a laminator of Carolina Skiffs.
“Healthwise, he was fine… but the working environment of his job meant he was constantly very dehydrated -- the factory he worked in was VERY hot, and the hours were long. That can cause serious issues over time, including coronary problems.”
He died of a sudden massive heart attack in their home.
Now Nephilaine must pick up and care for the remaining pieces of Siggy Romulus’ life in the material one -- and the digital one he left behind.
“Recently he was looking at SL again, getting ready to dive back in. We'll never know what madness was cooking in the back of his mind, he said he had notions but wouldn’t really elaborate on them. So i'll always wonder about that.”
She recently rented out an SL sim called Malevich, which happened to be his chosen last name in the SCA. “It felt like fate at the time. He was so interested in the development and building I was doing on that sim, and had plans of his own for an area to develop there. I was very much looking forward to having him back in-world again.”
She isn’t sure what will become of it now. “The areas completed are accessible, but right now, i just don’t have the heart to even look at it. Maybe logging in to the tribute event Sunday will change that. I’m hoping it helps me find my fire again, because right now like so many other things, it’s just....missing.”
She is also working with Linden Lab to take over his avatar account, and all the irreverent and outrageous items he invented in Second Life in the many years he was a beloved figure in the community.
“I'll keep it exactly like it is,” Nephilaine Protagonist tells me. “What is stored on that account represents a huge part of his life. It is his creativity, as purely represented as if you jacked directly into his brain. Who wouldn’t want to keep that?”
Thank you so much for this, Hamlet. He is and will always be desperately missed.
Posted by: Kasi | Friday, June 29, 2018 at 11:25 AM
Great piece :)
Posted by: Fleabite | Friday, June 29, 2018 at 01:25 PM
I'm gonna miss you, Siggy! He was just about the best straight-guy-friend that a gay guy could ask for: smart, funny, willing to call you on your BS and willing to stand up for others. I remember one of my early experiences with Siggy was when I had built a replica of the Sears Tower in Stillman (much to the dismay of my neighbors!) and Siggy pulled out a miniature convertible car and we spent a good amount of time trying to drive up the side of the tower - laughing our butts off the entire way. He left a mark on those around him that they will cherish. <3 - juro kothari
Posted by: Juro | Friday, June 29, 2018 at 01:29 PM
You were a true Gothika treasure, Siggy. Blunt. A smartass, and one of our Misfits (even if we stole Kasi early on). Port Seraphine will be missing a genie.
Posted by: Loki Violet | Friday, June 29, 2018 at 09:11 PM
A very touching tribute to such a wonderful friend and person. So glad for the memories made.
Posted by: Lecktor Hannibal | Saturday, June 30, 2018 at 03:18 AM
What an amazing tribute. All of us have such special memories in SL as well as in RL. Siggy was a presence; he took over the room and everyone was happy to let him do so.
I hope that tomorrow many of the SL “Pioneers”;will be there to wish him a gentle journey to whatever may come next.
Much love, Baccara
Posted by: Baccara Rhodes | Saturday, June 30, 2018 at 03:18 PM
He had a pretty comfortable relationship with Linden Water as well - most of us merely crash into it and fly/swim out, some of us sail, but Siggy was perhaps the one guy in SL who embraced the idea of actually swimming in proper ground-level water, to the point of even inventing a great HUD for swimming with. That has saved me an endless tonne of frustration when dealing with deep waters on no-fly/swim parcels.
In an era where so many people are now more keen on living in the sky and switching to fake prims for swimming in, Siggy was a great guy for reminding folks just what one could do in the realest water SL ever had.
Posted by: camilia fid3lis nee Patchouli Woollahra | Sunday, July 01, 2018 at 08:35 AM
I haven't encountered him in twelve or thirteen years, but I still have the warmest memories of Siggy. He was a good person; that came right through the avatar. He was also a nut and a genius at just creating fun shit that everyone could enjoy. We had a couple of really deep conversations and I like to think that we were friends. I've also got to agree with Juro, Siggy was pretty wise, for a straight guy. Nephilaine was, of course my go to fashion source, maybe more of a fashion fetish, way back when we had twenty sims and knew how to use them. I've heard that grief never diminishes, no matter how much its shared. I've always that that was bullshit. I hope so anyways.
Posted by: David Cartier | Monday, July 02, 2018 at 08:26 PM
Thanks Siggy, I really dodged a bullet with that one.
Rest In Peace.
Posted by: Maxx Monde | Wednesday, July 03, 2019 at 10:33 AM